Friday, August 28, 2009

walk in your clouds

Again so ever amazed by God.I am sooo feeling him as my bff to the extreme power lol. But on the for real hes really been amazing 2 me.Ive really been trying to put forth a REAL effort in reading his word and walking in it. Trusting in his promises that he will give me my hearts desire and guess what....HE DID!!! man im feeling so blessed & i havent said that/felt that in a loooong time. yea i still have struggles and really hard ones at that. i may not have all the friends that i want to be there but God is showing me quality over quantity is best. Life is no where near perfect but im seeing some things really manifest.Im walking so much into my desitiny and so happy that im not where i thought i wanted to be.Im so happy that i can stand on my own and not be sooo needy and desperate like i see some people becoming.You feel like your missing it but really you're the stronger one.
But i digress......Ive been praying for things that have been problems for years.Some of those stunt my confidence in myself and my gifts.But after using those gifts this summer and esp after the gospel gogo performance im thinkin....Dag man with God on my side IM pretty frickin awsome. Ive been prayin on a job and it looks like i have a really good one for 6 weeks with great pay and great experience.I was blessed to get a BRAND NEW Singer sewing machiene(Like heaven).Im finically blessed and the best thing is not from material things.Its peace and understanding. Peace with how weird and cool he made me even if not many notice my worth.Understanding with where hes taking me.Its so awesome.I fought it not knowing there was a rainbow after the storm.Take the leap& walk in your cloud-GATSBY

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Ephinay#1 pitful or powerful,you cant be both

Wow God Just dropped this on me today and it was such revelation, a revelation i tend on grasping completely. im really at a point now where hes making me choose. i want so much sometimes to just be ordinary and ignore the unique gifts he put inside of me. Its hard for me to step out there and just do cuz i have such a high anxiety about whats gonna happen if i mess up.SATAN IS A BASTARD BABY!!! as my sister would say.He has me so stuck on fear for ye years that now realize that it gets you nowhere.Second Guessing yourself makes you mess up even more.I'm so tired of being like "if only i wasn't nervous i would've.." "if only i wasn't scared i would've...." NOW I'M READY TO JUMP OUT THERE FLAWS AND ALL, even if it means crashing.
THE TEST:I really love singing and ministering through song. Ive always wanted to be in a band but it never happened. then the door opened not only to be in a band but to also perform one of the tye tribbett songs i rearranged. I had my moment to step in and i flopped. Instead of being free and just singing i focused to much on my flaw which was pitch.I get even pitcher and self conscious as time grew.It was all so much pressure for me with other things that i dealt with that i had to take a break.=[ Now the chance has arrived again Today! Even though i haven't rehearsed the song in a while and was put on spot to sing it. the question came up to either be pitiful or powerful. I decided to be powerful and now i not only sound better but it feels soo natural. Im in pitch, i have volume and im more confident. TRULY GOD!
THE ANSWER: Stop letting Fear of People dictate things in your Life.God may bless you with something and you say you cant do it.AGAIN SATAN IS A BASTARD BABY. U already you have all the tools you need you just have to pick up the wrench and use them. im tired of watching others use there tools.Ive wipe the rust off and now i ready to fix cars and show the world what Gatsby is really about.Are you tired of being pitiful?Come on Guys and Dolls LETS BE POWERFUL!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Jeremy Scottt haunts my daydreams when im awake

He's Shaking up Adidas with his Avant Garde take on sportswear. I Luv Luv Luv it. Fringe with sweat pants, bustier with gym shorts! I think im in heaven.Its refreshing to see someone really take Adidas in a diff direction. Ive never been a fan but now i think im going to have to submit. Check out some of the look book

Friday, August 7, 2009

day n nite%neon tye dye & turqouise eyliner

wow im so jittery 2nite. its 1:40 and i dont feel a drop of sleepiness. i really need to go 2 bed because i have to be at the at the art institute open house at 11:00. Im soo not a morning person, so i need to have my tush in bed so i can be up early enough to put together my first impression outfit. If i didnt spend all my money @ the MAC counter last week i wouldve bought some really jazzy or neon folders n binders. I know it may sound a little crazy but i take first impressions seriously. Since 3rd grade ive always made sure ive decorated all my school suplies. Most of the time i couldnt afford to get the really cute Lisa Frank flimsy binders, i had to go econimical. but i hate for things to be boring- so i teared up all the pictures out of vogue magazine and bought all the cute dollar store stickers and pasted them over everything. Bland folders became eye catching and unique. Everyone was able to get a glimspe of what i was about. I guess it shouldnt be a surprise that now i have a habit of Decorating EVERYTHING. If i go to a workshop or confrence and get a binder ill imeddiately scribble my signature or whip out some stickers from my bag. Usually ill have my own binder and folders- so that theyre impressed when they see that i thought ahead. i love seeing that smile on theyre faces.Just like in 3rd grade, theyre seeing what im about also
even though my plan is a little different from most seniors, im okay with it. Im on Gods Journey and ive learned that theres many different paths to get to one journey and everyone travels them differently. Im one of those travelers. yea its really hard becuz ppl dont undertstand the plan in full. they may think im trying to be lazy but what they dont know is that my hunger for success farrr out ways any thing theyve ever seen! i dream all the time, day n nite and spend so much time perfecting my craft-just waiting until God finishes polishing it. then I'm gone! Taking the world by storm.
1:56 a.m and i still havent said was i was suppose to say.Im excited about tommrow. No folders n binders but i do have a lime greem tie dye tank,turqouise liquid eyliner and a hello kitty messenger bag.Its like really seeing my future in my grasp when sometimes it seems so far away. i feel confident and i have a good feeling in my belly.=] This just may be it.